Unmotivated

Ok, yet again I missed a show I was determined to make it to. Did not get to see Stations of the Cross ... BUT I did get myself over to Barnsdall and see the Multiple Vantage Points show. I also went for a stroll on Chung King Road in Chinatown (this guy Andy Alexander that I went to school with has a show at China Art Objects). Maybe it's because I'm feeling under the weather these days, but I just did not feel compelled by the overall scene at either places. There were a few things that I liked but, on the whole, I felt like I could have done without. I wonder if it's my laziness -- I don't want to put in the effort required of the active viewer. I just want it to be made easy for me. Not surprisingly, it was the visceral works that I liked best. Over at Chung King Road, I think it was the whole gallery vibe that was turning me off more than anything. Not that I was ever really into it, but if I was in any way, I am way over it. Had an interesting talk with a fellow artist-cum-entrepreneur named Brande Jackson about this. I guess I feel that the functionality and relevance of art (whatever that may mean) outside of the context of art has become far more important to me than anything else. Within the structure of commercial galleries and such, the discourse seems limited, even incestuous. I'm sure that's going too far but how I've felt about it for awhile now.

I really wrestled with my artist statement tonight (due for class over a month ago). I don't think I've ever felt so tortured trying to put words on paper. I console myself with the thought that the statement can only get better from here. The main struggle is lack of motivation about going forward (with my design studio, with all this art stuff ... everything?). And, anyway, how does one write about one's art practice when there is no practice to speak of?